Can't touch this.

Honorary entry from Helene:

Me: "Stop. Hammer time."
Hélène: "Those three words just ruined my day."
Me: "Really? They just made my day."
[Beat]
Me: "School's out, sucka.'"

Un-intended Helene slam

Me: “I wonder if Pugeot sets out to make the ugliest cars imaginable, or if that’s just a coincidence?”
Dad: “Ever since that car, the Aztec, came out a few years ago, car making has been going down hill.”

European ants

Dad: “Hey, look – it’s that giant fiber glass ant-statue I told you about.”
[Large fiberglass statue with black and yellow stripes passes.]
Me: “Dude, that’s a bumble bee. Notice the stripes?”
Dad: “No it’s not – it’s a European ant.”
Me: “If that were true, it would have a beret, a neck-scarf, and be smoking.”
Dad: “Okay, good point.”

Wishful thinking

Dad: “So, that’s the route of today. And we’ll be able to look for great herds of St. Bernards frolicking in Alpine meadows.”
Me: “How well you know me.”

It's genetics

Dad: “I think we’re going to miss Interlaken on this trip.”
Me: “That’s okay – you’ve got interlockin’ at home. Hoy-oh!”
Dad: “Well, at least you don’t take wholly after your mother.”
Me: “Phsh. You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first.”
Dad: [Barely discernable nod.]